Kevin-

I liked reading your narrative. The dialogue was very interesting. I think the only real suggestion I could offer is to maybe spice it up. Like perhaps you can use something to perhaps engage the reader a little bit more. Like entertaining them while they are going on this little quest thru (I'm assuming) a moment in your life. Other then being long winded, I think you wrote a nice narrative. I think it is a nice read.

I am sorry that I really dont have a ton to say about your paper, it is just pretty good as it is.

Happy Writings,

Hend