Sleight of Hand and Twist of Fate
I began writing this blog but was having trouble getting the right sentiment into words. Sometimes it seems I am all around the edges of what I want to say but can't get to the heart. Then it occurred to me that I had read something similiar to what I was trying to say. And it seemed to me that I had read it right here on the wiki amongst the rants, revues, recollections, and reminiscing of my classmates. So I went searching and I found Caitlin's Searching for Rhythm. Here is a sample of what lie therein
Even smaller things - a conversation with a classmate, a smile from a stranger, a fabulous song or piece of art - are enough to make my entire being glow with happiness for hours afterward. I take such pleasure in these things - all things that would not exist without glorious, unpredictable people - that I have come to realize that I don't love these things despite the Chaos that brings them into my world, but that I love the Chaos because it brings these things into my world.
For me the sleight of hand is the notion that our lives need follow some predictable pattern established by god knows who for god knows what purpose. Now you see it now you don't. I believe the majority of people never even give their life much critical thought. And when they do they find it to be so disturbing and unsettling that they quickly change their thoughts to some concrete diversion such as the plasma HDTVs on sale at Best Buy and are only dimly aware of the entire process. And then back they go to the well worn pattern established by god knows who for god knows what purpose.
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." -Thoreau
The twist of fate occurs when I am open to the possibilites of the Chaos. When I stop pretending I can predict the future, or that it must happen in a certain way to secure my happiness, I become open to an unlimited expanse of possibilities - glorious and unpredictable. It is not always easy because I tend to cling to that which is known and therefore comfortable. But when I can see through the illusion I know there is nothing to fear but fear itself.
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