*Disclaimer* - Just to forewarn you all, I do subscribe to a species belief, but sometimes my view of Dogs is a little…unorthodox. For example, I believe that Dogs have a sarcastic sense of humor at times. You may also see this as a little self-centered, but it is my remix of Meagan's narrative, so I think that is ok. So if it bothers you to hear about Dogs or my take on what they think, then you may not be interested in reading my remix of Meagan's narrative.
One day in the life of Meagan Taylor: Her Dog's (Bandit 'like Johnny Quest') Narrative
At Home
I tell you what; this human of mine can sleep! She knows she needs to leave the house in less than 20 minutes, but she still rolls over and hits the snooze button one more time. She'd just better remember I need to take a big dump most morning's and I like my kibble to the top of the dish.
“Oh Shit! It’s 8:55! Ugh, I slept in again, there’s no way I’m doing my hair this morning”
That’s what I said 20 minutes ago! Why does she never listen to me? I know they say it's best to let sleeping dogs lie but you're not a dog. Ok hurry up my little sleeping human, get ready for school.
It’s only 9:10 and I already feel like I need a nap, what’s she doing now? Oh goodie she’s taking me out, finally getting to priorities. I hope she remembers that she didn't pick up after my last dump.
“Oh crap Bandit! Literally. Why does this have to happen when I’m running late, I do a good deed by taking you out and then I step in your crap!”
Ahh, I was afraid she would step in that pile sooner or later, I mean come on, its right by the door! You gotta pick up after me, I don't have thumbs! I hope she notices that she trailed it through the house when she walked in. Hey that fecal footprint kinda resembles a biscuit......uummmmmm biscuit.
Surprise surprise, she's not even going to clean up the poop trail in the living room. I better not get the blame for what is technically her poop trail!
"I've done enough by taking the dog out, Mom is coming home for lunch in a couple hours, she can clean it up, I've got to leave."
Ah, she left the house, now I can go back to sleep!
Driving to school
I hope she remembers to wear her seatbelt and not to speed or run red lights. I've ridden with her before and it can be a little scary and I don't scare easily. But her driving? Very scary. She needs to come back to me because as much as I like to think I'm a big tough Dog, I really need her.
“Oh my God! I didn’t even see that guy coming! I need to pay more attention to the road, I guess I’m still a little sleepy.”
Class
Well, I gonna sleep for about three hours now but I hope Meagan is paying attention in class and not doodling in her notebook. I've seen her notebook, lots of doodles, not so many notes. I know she doesn't like all of her classes or her classmates but she needs to pay attention to get good grades so she'll get a good job and keep me in kibbles and bits for a lifetime which I plan on living a long time.
"Thank God that class is over!"
Driving to work
YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
I hope she remembers what I said about driving last time - no speeding! I need her to come home to me safely. It's time For my second nap.
"Wow I actually got here a little early today!"
At work
She told me about all the kids she works with. I'm glad they are such wild animals, it makes me seem down right civilized. If she can learn to keep her temper with them than I should be a walk in the park. Hey that's a good idea, walk in the park. Maybe I should chew something up.
“SIT DOWN AND STOP TALKING NOW! I am about to send every last one of you to the office if you don’t sit down and shut your mouths!”
Sometimes Meagan yells at me when she is angry. I know it's not my fault because I'm just a Dog and I just do the same ol' Doggy things day in and day out. So when she's mad at me I know there is something else going on with her.
On the other hand I get away with a whole lot just cuz I'm so damn cute. Like once I chewed her favorite Victoria's Secret lingerie to pieces. When she found it she was so mad I thought her head was gonna explode and I was gonna get a smack on the ass at the very least. But I just turned on the Doggy charm and the sad brown eyes, she's like putty in my paw.
Even if she's does get mad at me and yell at me or, Dog forbid, smack me - I forgive her cuz I'm all about the love, the unconditional love. Plus my memory's not so great.
Back at home
Oh goody, goody, goody Meagan's home, Meagan's home, Meagan's home.
Ok I know you have a lot of homework and housework to get done, so I am going to behave and not be so needy so you can get it all done in time to get to bed early tonight.
“I wonder if Aaron is doing anything tonight….”
No Meagan, not him! Don't bring him between us again.
“If I just hang out with him until 10 o’clock, that still gives me a couple hours to do my homework when I get back.”
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
“...ok, so I’ll meet you in 20 minutes at your house.”
Ohh Meagan, why oh why am I not enough for you. There are only a few things I care about, Food, poop, sleep, and you. I used to like other dogs too, until that little operation. Oh well, I'll be waiting, asleep but waiting, for you when you get home. Because I'm all about the love, the unconditional love.
Goodnight.
Bandit is adorable :) --Meagan
The story and the dog are both very cute. Good job! --Jess
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